Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tasty Tidbit Night

Favorite Quotes of the week:

I have not included who these quotes are from simply to protect the not so innocent, but you know who you are.  For the most part people aren’t going to find these funny.  I think they’re hilarious. 

Quote #1:  I don’t watch porn, I live porn.

Quote #2:  I need that.

Tasty Bit Night

Tonight I decided to do this a little different.  I found myself with a pile of little tales to tell, but no meaty center.  I have decided to accept that and make tonight a Tasty Tidbit Night.  We’ll return to our regularly scheduled program next week...probably.  J

Tasty Tidbit #1: New Glasses

            I’m starting to think I might need new glasses.  I don’t use my glasses very often, just when I take my contacts out at night, and briefly before I put my contacts back in, in the morning.  My glasses are old, as in high school old.  I don’t believe I have ever had the lens changed out, which means they are somewhere in the -5 range while I currently wear something like a -6.5.  In the world of sight, that -1.5ish makes a huge difference as demonstrated in this tidbit.  Early this week I started out my morning as usual.  Put the glasses on, feed the fish, etc.  When I finished feeding the fish I noticed something lying at the foot of my bed.  It looked like a nut.  I picked it up and stood staring at it trying to figure out how a nut had gotten into my bedroom.  My best guess was that I hadn’t latched the pantry door and the cats had pulled the nut out and played with it.  I keep a couple of bags of uncracked nuts in there, so it wasn’t impossible.  It’s early and still fairly dark in the bedroom and I have to hold this nut pretty close to my face trying to identify just what kind of nut it is.  Raise your hand if you saw this one coming.  You’re right.  It wasn’t a nut, it was a dog turd.  My eye appointment is in two weeks.

Tasty Tidbit #2: The Art of Lateness

            Time drives me nuts.  Being late takes me to a whole new level.  When I’m running late my breathing accelerates, my heart starts pounding, I’m calling in angels to hide my car from lurking police cars, and in general I become a mess.  I’m not sure if I think the people waiting for me are going to hate me because I’m running late or what my problem is, but I can’t handle being late.  Some of my friends however do not have this issue; they have learned what I call the Art of Lateness.  Each one of my friends handles their lateness art in a different way.  One of my friends is always late, I mean always.  Her and her family actually have their own personal time zone, which is absolutely cool.  She figures that her friends know her; this is who she is and if you don’t like it, sucks to be you.  One of my other friends has a similar attitude.  She isn’t late that often but when she is there is always a good reason, plus she doesn’t care if you don’t like it, which I love.  My other friend can’t stand being late, but she is, often.  It flusters her pretty bad too.  She is becoming a master in the craft of Lateness.  Her attitude lately is more relaxed in a shrug your shoulders it is what it is kind of way.  It’s fascinating to me how my different friends handle lateness.  I used to think that people that were late were just lazy, but I don’t think that’s it.  There really is something to be said for divine timing.  While I’m rushing and pushing myself to the point of psycho crazy trying to be on time, they have more relaxed attitudes, more acceptance of how things are.  I love that and I respect it. Someday I hope to be a master of Lateness as well, or at least be okay with being late once in a while. 

Tasty Tidbit #3:  I Didn’t Write This For You (I’m Not Sure I Wrote It For Me)

            Ah blog night.  It’s the one night of the week that I sit down in my space and really let the writer in me out of her cage.  It’s a small cage and damp too.  I shut the door to my room and light a bunch of candles.  Fire up the incense and disappear into the keyboard.  That’s exactly how my room looks tonight.  My incense, a wonderful Japanese blend has already burned out, but the scent will linger for hours.  I have something a little selfish to say and it being the night that my writer is released well here it is, I’m not writing this for you.  What you didn’t guess that was coming from the title?  And here’s the other brainstorm, I’m not sure I’m writing this for me.  So why write it?  To write.  I know I have beat this drum before and I hate to beat a dead horse to death (hehehehe), but after a comment I received last week on my blog I decided that this statement needed to be reiterated.  My only purpose in writing, besides sharing, is simply to write, the practice of writing.  In a way that seems harsh to me.  I don’t like being harsh.  But it is the truth.  I am not trying to be a spiritual guru, or an expert of any sort.  I am just a woman sharing.  If you choose to read, you have my thanks.  If you don’t, well that doesn’t really matter now does it.  This is my practice ground. My baby steps toward greater things.  Each step I take, each blog I write moves me forward.  My blog is also deeply personal.  Just because something might seem like just an interesting story on the surface does not mean it doesn’t have a much deeper and very personal meaning for me.  I often describe it as me standing on the cliffs edge.  This is my space of vulnerability.  That means I must maintain healthy boundaries.  I am making the choice to share, to stand on the cliffs edge, so I make the choice to open myself up to who knows what kind of comments.  Still I felt it was important to remind everyone, myself included that this blog is for the practice of creation and however egotistical it might sound, the title remains the truth.

Tasty Tidbit #4:  Me versus Me

            I have a conundrum.  It seems there is a something of a war going on inside of me.  The New Me vs. the Old Me.  In a way which is hard to wrap my brain around neither me is me, I’m just me.  This is going to get confusing but try to stick with me.  Setting that brain wracker aside, I still have the problem of me vs. me.  The New Me is the stronger, healthier me.  This is the me that enjoys eating good foods, getting plenty of rest and exercise, and is generally a more balanced and healthier person.  The New Me is also ready for new adventures, ready to take on new things, to see what the world has in store for me.  The Old Me is just that, the me that hangs on to the old habits, the old job, the old and comfortable things.  The things that I have been ready to let go of, but unable to do so, because the Old Me was hanging on too tightly.  To be honest I’m concerned that the Old Me might win this little battle.  I have made more poor food choices in the last two weeks than I have in the last six months.  My schedule has been rocked sufficiently out of balance, and it seems like Old Me is doing everything she can to hold onto her old worn out identity.  New Me is trying, but it looks like an uphill battle.  Falling back into old habits is easy and comfortable.  I slid into a couple of them without realizing it until a week had gone by.  Then two past and things got even more comfortable.  Old Me gets me to ignore my meditation time by having me play pointless phone games.  Instead of getting a good night’s sleep, Old Me invites me to watch a movie or stay up late doing something else so that I don’t get enough rest.  Exercise? Eating healthy?  Not so much.  When I think about not eating something Old Me jumps in and says but if you do that cleanse again you’ll never eat that whatever it is again.  New Me does her best to remind me how good I felt when I was exercising, how much I enjoyed the new foods I was eating.  New Me has her work cut out for her.    Thankfully I have friends to help me out, even when they don’t know they are helping.  Twice this week I was having fat days and on both days I had people comment on how nice I looked and the weight I have lost.  Those things help New Me out.  I know I have to let the Old Me go.  I know it’s for the best.  I try to be gentle with her, talk to her, and tell her that she isn’t being annihilated, just changing.  I’m hoping I can talk some sense into her before she goes completely off the deep end.  Hmm, might be too late, lol. 

No comments:

Post a Comment