Favorite Quotes of the Week:
Quote #1: Welcome to the Cow Planet.
Quote #2: Can we make the Kool-Aid grape?
Quote #3: I like a good swelling.
Tasty Tidbit #1: Welcome
I thought I would take a moment to welcome baby Cecelia Marie to the world! Beautiful little Cece joined us on this adventure June 27th. We love you!!
Tasty Tidbit #2: 2:34am
It’s a little early for me, but in a way this is a good thing. I had been debating on when to write ‘Ritas today. Tonight is the gratitude ceremony for our shop, so things will be running late and with cleaning going on and potluck cooking I didn’t see when I was going to fit this in. I guess works. I just hope I can get back to sleep.
Tasty Tidbit #3: Understanding
I meant to write this tidbit last week during my tidbit extravaganza, but I forgot. My bad. But we’re here now so it’s all good. Over the past few months I have been advised by several people, Mardi included to reconnect with my father. I had connected with him last year around my birthday, but things went south rather quickly culminating in me basically telling him to piss off. It’s not the way that I like to do things, I was just mad as hell. Thirty whatever years of pissosity just poured out of me into an email. During the expo and before it, I was started getting the message that I needed to patch this relationship up. Not one to ignore a message, though I did put this one off for a while, I swallowed my pride and wrote an apology letter to my father. I was surprised how quickly he got back to me and that he was still interested in talking with me. We have exchanged a couple of emails now and he even sent me a birthday card, something I haven’t seen in I couldn’t tell you how many years. Then Father’s Day showed up. I’m not used to celebrating Father’s Day for a few reasons so it kind of snuck up on me. In fact it was about halfway through the day when I realized what day it was. Of course, I thought about my dad. Emotions mixed and I found myself torn. Though I appreciate that we have been able to say what we needed to say to move toward healing, I honestly don’t feel a relationship coming on. In other words, though we have reached a point of understanding, I don’t see it going beyond that. I had toyed with the idea of going up to Wisconsin to visit him. I had gone as far as telling him that I might do so, but that I wasn’t sure of my plans. Sometimes things just are what they are. On Father’s Day the same thought kept rolling through my mind, you have to be and act like a father to qualify for Father’s Day, at least in my perspective of the world and that wasn’t what I felt. I debated, writing an email saying Happy Father’s Day or don’t. The answer ended up being don’t for me. I don’t see us actually having a father/daughter relationship, more a relationship of understanding between two adults and that’s okay. I never thought it would be, I thought that if I didn’t have a real relationship with my father that I would have a hole in my heart, that somehow I was not loveable enough. Instead I have found that I am loveable, that there is no hole (the one that had been there was simply created out of my expectations), and that it’s okay to accept that my father and I are never going to have anything more than understanding. I believe in this case, understanding is enough.
Montage
I had no intentions of writing about the shop this week. I tried to write four different topics before finally giving in and writing this one. Tonight is the gratitude ceremony for our little shop, Celestial Esscents. The cleaning is finished, the boxes are gone, and what we have left is what we had when we began, nothing.
I first saw the stain glass window sticker from the technical college next door. I was in the parking lot with my mother who had just signed up for classes. The stain glass intrigued me. What sort of shop had stain glass? I was pulled, like so many others, like a moth to the flame. I decided to check it out. Leaving my mother at the car I walked around the low chain link fence. The yard was green, the little house was white. I wasn’t sure if I should knock or just go in, so I choose to just go in and ask forgiveness later if necessary.
As I walked through the door I took a deep breath. The most wonderful smell hung in the air. A mixture of candles, incense, essential oils, and magic. My kind of place to be sure. The woman who would be my boss for the next four years greeted me at the door and then continued her conversation with another woman. She was talking about some psychic, a young man. I was pretty sure I knew who she was talking about but some verification was needed. She told me that I was correct; Frank was doing readings out of the shop here. The timing was perfect; my birthday was just around the corner. Before I left I booked myself a reading and an energy session. I also made a daring move; at least it was daring for me back then. I told the woman that if she ever needed a volunteer I was ready and able to help. She regarded me for a moment and then asked for my name and number. I was slightly amused since she had just written all of that down, but that as I soon learned was Peggy’s way.
As my reading day approached I grew impatient for a call back from Peggy. I wanted to work in that shop. It had always been a dream of mine to work in a metaphysical shop, now I had a chance, I didn’t want it to slip away. I should have known better. Peggy did call and I did end up working my dream job for four very special years.
Some of those years were tougher than others. I was actually away from the shop for just about a year. Those were difficult times, but I learned so much and grew so much that by the time I was ready to return to the shop I was a different person altogether. Stronger somehow through my experience. Though I was sad to be away for so long, looking back I see how important my time away was, and I don’t regret that time or the lessons I took from it.
When I returned to the shop after my year of learning, it was like no time had passed at all. It was like a couple in a relationship that breaks up for two weeks. You don’t stop counting the time together just because of a misunderstanding. So I never count my time away, in some ways I believe I was always there, if only in spirit.
This past year plus has been yet another series of learning experiences. We celebrated our bond with the community by hosting the Harvest Blessings Fair. I look on that fair with great love. Everyone worked to the point of exhaustion. We gave our all and then some and I was proud to be a part of it. The day was bright, but chilled you to the bone. We had asked for sunshine but forgotten to specify temperature. We attempted hot chocolate, but weren’t fully prepared. I remember standing on the front porch before the fair started, before the vendors and service providers had set up their tents. I looked out and I envisioned a fair, and that’s exactly what we got. We were not only able to do a great day of business and collect lots of memories that included hot dogs and the corn man, but we were also able to collect a van full of food for the local food pantry, right when they were in need. Divine timing indeed.
Tonight is the final moment of Celestial Esscents. True we will probably be back tomorrow to clean up after tonight’s festivities, but after tonight it will truly be done. A piece of me aches. It aches at the memories, the pictures that run through my head of good food, good friends and good conversations. Potlucks and classes, readings, energy work, and facials. I laugh to think of playing The Game, and I tear up when I think of those days gone. But new days are coming. New memories are aching in their own way to be made. Laughter waits impatiently to be shared. Life is waiting for us to raise our arms to the sky one last time on the launching pad and let go of what is past its time. Joy is calling our name. Tonight as this chapter of my life comes to a close I am both smiling and weeping. I am truly blessed. I watch as the door closes and listen intently for the opening of the window.
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