Poetry Portfolio

Tasty Tidbit: Ugly Children

I’m probably going to hell for this, but I’m good with it.  Tonight I saw something that frightened me, almost beyond words.  I went to the local Wallyworld with Teresa and as we were checking out we saw a terrifying sight.  The ugliest kid I’ve ever seen.  Not just ugly, because I’ve seen ugly.  This kid was so ugly we actually made up a new category, Zoids, for this kid.  It was like a car wreck, you don’t want to look, but damn you just have to.  Your brain just can’t quite comprehend what it’s seeing.  Blonde curly hair bunched at the top of his head like a Mohawk from hell.  His skin was pale white; I’m not sure if there were fangs I figured he could read my mind so I shouldn’t look too close, and a blue vein going up one cheek.  He was throwing his head back and laughing in this super creepy, horror movie way.  He looked like one of those kids that would come walking out of a corn field, or that had an alien for a daddy.  As we walked out, Teresa tried to get me to take one last look.  I refused. The sight of that vein was burned into my memory.  We wondered in the car, does the mom know that her child is the spawn of satan?  Or does she think he’s a darling little boy?  I would say that the child is the result of some ugly sex.  The mom wasn’t ugly, neither were her other two kids that were huddled together in the back of the cart for safety.  Too much inbreeding?  I guess we’ll never know.  I wonder what people say when they see pictures of the kid; I mean what could you say? Well at least he doesn’t have a tail?  Or, I see he got your vein?  There was nothing to work with.  What do people with ugly kids do?  Or what if you have a really cute kid and a monster child?  Just remember, adoption is always an option. 

Tasty Tidbit: Don’t Forget to Ask

            A few days ago I was feeling down.  Not just down, as in blue, more like completely disconnected.  I hadn’t heard from my husband in over a week, and I was moving out of my mother’s house.  It felt a bit like I was being booted from the nest again and the people I expected to catch me weren’t any where to be seen.  Once I started down the road of funk, my vibration followed, which means that funk followed as well.  I went to take a nice lavender salt bath and found out that my tub drain leaks.  Later that day, I found that the toilet in that bathroom was running continuously, and the toilet in our half bath is wedged in so tight you can barely wipe yourself. Things just kept happening, I lost the DVD remote, my cats knocked two plants over (freshly watered of course!), etc, etc.  The task of moving for the second time in four months was overwhelming me, and being alone was crushing.

            Finally, I was able to sit down and talk to Teresa about things.  I basically spewed my guts all over the place, describing what was going on in my life.  We chat for over an hour about the various mishaps, and when we parted I did feel a little better.  Still when I got back to my new pad the emptiness was waiting in the dark for me.  I decided to just sit down and let myself have a good cry.  Sometimes you just need to cleanse all that funk out.  As I was crying my phone beeped, letting me know that I had a new email.  Hoping that it would be my husband, it wasn’t, I grabbed the phone.  It was an email newsletter that I get daily.  This one was all about laying down your burdens, turning your problems over to the divine.  There was a short meditation included.  I immediately laid back down and did the meditation.  I visualized all of my problems as a package, which turned into several packages including one pet carrier that had two of my main problem people in it.  Then I called my team in.  To me, my team is all my angels, guides, totem animals, passed family, etc.  I called everyone in and asked if they would help me with these problems.  I visualized each stepping forward and taking a package.  I could feel the relief.  I could actually feel the weight lifting off of me.  In the meditation it said to be sure to say thank you, and since I agree that gratitude is incredibly important, I made sure to say thank you.  As I did so, it popped in my head and I guess this might sound bad, but I thought, why didn’t you guys do this sooner, you knew I needed help?  The answer: I never asked.

Poetry Portfolio

Well folks there’s no grand lesson tonight, except perhaps one of gratitude.  The last four months I have been living at my mother’s home, because I sold our house.  I knew, and she knew, that this was a temporary situation.  Going back home at age 31 is a little disconcerting.  The first time I came home at 2:00am and my mother was waiting for me, really threw me. I was grateful however to have a place to stay.  My mother; however, does not always think to ask me things.  Like, hey Sara do you need this writing portfolio? If she had asked the answer would have been yes.  No, she didn’t ask.  She deleted it from the computer and when I went looking for it, I was devastated.  I didn’t keep copies of my work, because I figured, hey it’s on the computer.  As a last ditch effort I decided to write my professor from last semester and see if he could email me my portfolio.  I thought it was a long shot at best.  Sometimes long shots are the best shots.  Today, he emailed me back, portfolio in hand, or email I suppose and I was overjoyed and grateful.  Because of this I decided that I would share a few poems from this portfolio with you all tonight.  I hope you enjoy them.  I know I am just so grateful that I can share something that I thought was lost for good. 

Breaking Boughs

The first time I fell

You caught me.

The second time I fell

You rebuked me.

The third time I fell

You ignored me.

The fourth time I fell

I caught myself.

The Return

Nothing extraordinary happened

Nothing has changed

Yet I feel a shift inside of me

My kaleidoscope vision turning again.

Poor me has been washed away

With tidal waves and foreign shores

Leaving me the same

But released

Released from grief

Heartache and pain

Released from myself created chains

I return home

To the place of I Am.

The Gallery

I stare into fragile frames

Looking for a piece of myself

Watercolor, oil paints, pencil, and charcoal

Lines, figures, dots, and landscape

In the corner

Just like me

Hidden in the back

Just like me

She waits staring

Just like me

I fall into her penciled eyes

And buy a piece of my soul.

Perspective

A Free bird in a little cage

Dancing

Wearing chains around its little foot

Jangling

A Free bird in a little cage

Creating

Flying through open skies.

Just Because I Love You...

Tasty Tidbit

Well I’m burping tequila mixed with grande quesadilla, so it must be ‘Ritas night!  It’s a little difficult to come bumping back to earth after so much fun.  Tonight I got to hang out with some of my best buds, which is perfect considering this week’s blog is all about friendship.  Now mind you folks we’re going to bring it down a notch tonight, so turn the lights down, light a nice fire, and snuggle up with the one you love.  Don’t forget to love yourself too, just don’t Love yourself, I mean unless you want to.  You might want to wait until your done reading though. So tonight I want to say thank you to all my friends past, present, and future, (please don’t get me started on the whole, it’s all happening at the same time thing, I have tequila in me).  I love you all, and I always will.

Just Because I Love You…

          I have always wanted a group of close friends.  You know like the kind that you see in the movies.  I always wanted buds that would hang with me, stick up for me, and go to jail with me.  There was always a longing for a closeness, a gap that I was never quite able to fill.  I was looking for lifetime friends, no not like the television channel, I mean the kind that would be with me when I was pissing myself (wait a minute, okay check that one off the list), and gasping my last breath.

            When I was sixteen I met a beautiful young woman, who we will call, Lana. Lana has done more and experienced more than any person I know.  She is one of the most talented people I have ever come in contact with, and I have learned what that can do to a person.  At the time, I thought Lana was the same age I was, maybe a year or two older.  It took us almost twelve years to discover that she was the same age as my mother.  We never knew, I guess it was never important.  What was important was the way that Lana assisted me in my spiritual growth.  I was sixteen and had more understanding than most adults I knew.  In fact, I would say more than any of the adults I knew.  It was a frustrating time for me.  Leaving out for a moment the raging hormones, and factor in a complete sense that I don’t belong here (as in this planet) in any way shape or form.  It wasn’t any kind of; gee I’m a teen I don’t belong, though I did have that too.  This was a deeper disconnection, something that had no words or definition, only a deep and utter longing for something I could not reach, or better said, did not know how to reach.  I was writing, but not understanding.  I had the understanding, but not the words.  I was searching, like most teens for a way to define.  But I wasn’t looking for a way to define myself, really I was looking for a way to define the experiences and the understanding that I was having.  People were always telling me that there was something different about me, but when asked what, there was no answer.

            Lana was the first person who had an answer.  I showed her some of my writing one day and she shocked me by telling me I was an old soul.  This I already knew.  Lana, however, was the first person to identify that within me, she was the first person to confirm and help reinforce ideas and conclusions that I had made about myself.  Lana was someone I was looking for, a mentor or a guide.  I needed someone to talk with, before I just simply burst.  It was an actual fear that I had, I also thought that I was mentally imbalanced, or broken in some way.  Here, finally, was someone I could share with, who could assist me.  Turns out that I ended up assisting a lot of other people, for once it became an exchange.  Lana and I started taking weekly classes from a woman that she knew.  I learned more about subjects I already knew.  Auras, energy, Reiki, color therapy, and a whole lot more.  My writing took off, in ways I had never experienced.  I didn’t know it than, but I was doing automatic writing.  I just knew that I would sit down with a tablet and write, when I was done I couldn’t remember what I had written, and most of the time I was astounded by what I had written.  Then I started getting messages for people in our classes.  I was uncomfortable giving the messages, but at the same time I felt they were important.  I never judged them, even when I went back through and spell checked them.  I figured it was what it was. 

            After a couple years, teenage life caught up with me and a terrible break up with the boyfriend I was sure I was going to marry.  I went through stints of writing, but I felt like my precious gift was lost.  Lana stuck with me through everything.  She was there when I needed to call at 2 am.  Lana was there when I got kicked out of my house and needed a place to live.  Lana was there when I was eight hundred dollars in the red after depositing my whole paycheck and when I filed a desperate bankruptcy.  Lana taught me that the greatest gift you can give to another person besides love is compassion.  Then Lana got a new husband, and I was ousted again.  Not of Lana’s doing mind you, but of my own stupidity.  I left her hanging with a three hundred dollar phone bill, why do girls always leave someone with a phone bill?  After nearly seven years of friendship, we ended up not speaking for over a year.

            Then I got nudged.  I was working on meditation one day, and I heard someone say my name. It sounded like someone talking through a fan.  There was no one else in the house at the time.  There was no profound message, just my name.  That was enough.  I had been thinking about Lana for a couple weeks, how I needed to call, pay her back and at least give her the chance to tell me off properly for being the world’s worst friend.  So I called.  I paid her back.  She didn’t tell me off.  We started our friendship where we left off, like we never left off at all. 

            Fast forward another eight years.  Lana moved to Texas, I moved to the armpit of the United States.  For seven of those eight years we didn’t see each other.  As the years past we went from calling once a week, to once a month, to once whenever we felt like the other needed to talk.  I suppose it was a classic long distance friendship.  Our connection was still so strong, but I started to notice some differences in her tone of voice and the way that she would present her ideas.  While my life was unfolding almost faster than I could keep up with it, I could hear that Lana was exactly where she had been six years ago, or eight years ago, then sixteen years ago.  Then one night about five months ago I got a phone call from Lana. To be honest, I hadn’t been calling because I could sense things were not going well with her.  Now, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to help her, it was that she in no way wanted to help herself.  Lana was looking for someone to pull her out of her funk, to hand her the magic key that would change everything for the better.  Instead, things just kept getting worse.  It was difficult for me to relate to anything she was saying, and most of the time I felt she just called to dump on me.  This call was a little different. Somehow, I had become a target for Lana’s frustration.  The conversation was a short one, only because I cut it off.  By the end of it, Lana was literally screaming in my ear, about how I was living in a dream world and a host of other unpleasant things that I would prefer never to repeat.  Now I realize that she was screaming out her own life frustration, but I was no longer willing to take the beating for what she was lacking in her life.  In a calm voice I explained that I was unable to continue the conversation and that I was hanging up.  And I did.

            At this point, Lana had been in my life for literally half my life.  That is a long time.  I went to my friends, explained the situation and hoped for some ideas on how to handle the situation.  The best one was just to not answer her phone calls anymore.  I had no idea what else to do and I felt I needed a break, so that’s what I did.  When Lana’s name would come across the caller id I would cross the room and take a couple deep breaths.  Her voicemails, as one would suspect, got increasingly agitated.  At one point she went through her full name, where she lived and her phone number, in case I forgot.  Mind you she has had the same cell phone number for as long as I can remember, possible the whole time I have known her.  After about two months I began to feel that the tactic of not answering was A) obviously not working and B) didn’t feel right any more.  I had taken a break and I was able to regroup.  I felt in my heart that the friendship was at an end.  I was conflicted.  How did that weigh into all of my spiritual beliefs?  Was I not being compassionate enough?  Was I blowing off someone that I have known and cared about for years?  Was this separation?  Could there really be a separation between us if we are all one?  These and thousands of other questions looped through my mind, but always I came back to the same conclusion, the friendship was done.

            I decided that the next time that Lana called I would answer.  I knew that my intention was to explain to her that the friendship was over.  I knew that I wanted to come from a place of love, not blame.  It was important to me that I was clear and compassionate.  Once the decision was made of course it didn’t take long for Lana to call, in fact she called the next evening.  I missed the call, but called her back right away.  I explained to her why I had not answered her calls and then with every ounce of compassion and love I could muster, I explained that our friendship was at an end.  Lana said that she felt that, and honored my decision.  Then she started to slip back into conversation mode, explaining about her current problems.  I gently cut her short and explained that having come to this decision and explaining myself that it was now time for me to go.  We said our goodbyes and hung up. 

            The darkness of the nights drive home and the silence in the car filled me.  There was no feeling of anxiety, I truly believe she understood.  Lana even explained at one point in our conversation that she sometimes felt envious (not her exact words) about the life I was living, and that hers was not where she wanted it to be.  There was an intense feeling of relief.  One thing that kept popping in my head over and over again, both when I was struggling with the decision and when I was on the phone with Lana, was a concept that I had tried to explain to and teach my mother.  Simply put, just because I love you doesn’t mean you have to be in my life.  I can love Lana and honor the friendship that we experienced together, but that doesn’t mean that I have to take verbal abuse or get dumped on all the time.  I can love someone without them being in my space.  Love transcends all the illusions of the mind.  Love is eternal.  And for all of you out there, once again I say, I love you.  Goodnight my friends.

Energy Condoms

My word for the day:  Goo.

This week we get down and dirty, kids.  Have fun!

Tasty Tidbit:  Introducing Characters

                Since up until now I have been referring to my peeps by vague terms like friend, I decided that it was time to give the not so innocent, names.  I would like to introduce Mardi, Teresa, Alton (who is in fact female, thought about calling her Altonina just to see what would happen, hehehe) and Rachel.  For those of you who think you know who Rachel is, let me just tell you, you're wrong.  Keep guessing though!  Random names will be given to minor characters and will be changed so as to protect the person’s identity.  This at least gives me a name to work with rather than friend or he/she all the time.  Let’s give them a round of applause.  Oh and yes, there will be more names to come.  As I warned them, you better be careful or you’ll end up in my blog!

Now onto the meat of this weeks blog. 

Energy Condoms

            So today boys and girls we are going to discuss protection.  No, I’m not talking about sex; get out of the gutter for about ten minutes guys. On that note I would like to say, make good choices.   Let’s continue.  Last week, I heard a partial conversation, through a closed door, on my way to the toilet, which sparked the genius behind today’s post.  Taken completely out of context and not really knowing what was being discussed, the conversation still held a valuable nugget that I intend to mine and make mine, now yours as well.  The muffled words ran something in the way of a client talking about psychic protection.  Let’s call the client Margo, because that’s my aunt’s nickname and she hates it, and call the worker Bonnie.  Margo was talking with me when she first came into the shop, that she is just opening up to healing work.  As she is opening herself up, she was noticing that when she works on a client she feels not only very tired after a session, but she is experiencing odd emotional flare ups.  I discussed with Margo the need to protect oneself during any type of energy work.  Not only to ensure that you are protected and not dragging home all sorts of emotional stickiness, but to protect the client as well from your own goo.  At this point, Bonnie came out and took Margo in for her reading. 

            Okay, so flash forward to the toilet journey.  As I am walking past the door I hear Bonnie talking to Margo about protection.  Again, this is taken completely out of context, work with me here.  Bonnie says something that sounds a whole lot like, don’t worry about doing protection, because if you think about using protection or shields you are saying that the negative stuff is more powerful than you.  Yes that is paraphrased, no I didn’t stop to listen I really had to pee.  If I heard that correctly, which I probably didn’t, it appeared that Bonnie was basically reverse engineering everything I had told Margo.  Now, I’m not pissing on a tree.  I don’t care if someone has better information to give to a client then me; however, telling someone something like that, is in my opinion, dumb.  You lock the door to your house, right?  So by turning that lock are you saying to the universe, criminals are more powerful than me?  No, you are using common sense.  I know, a rare and elusive creature once thought to be extinct.  If you walk across the street at night wearing black clothing are you telling the universe the darkness is not more powerful than you? No, are telling the universe that you breeding would be a bad idea so please take you out (as in, snuffed out, dead, made to be no more, passing into a better place, removed from existence, Darwin Award Winner) at the universe’s earliest possible convenience. 

            Protection is not a sign of weakness, I can’t stress that enough! Nor is it telling the Universe or anyone else for that matter that they/it/whoever, is more powerful than you.  Something can only be more powerful than you if you believe that it has more power than you.  Now, because I know there are some of you out there that need things done in crayon let me clarify a little.  If you step in front of a moving semi-truck, you will quickly learn that you are not more powerful than that truck. You will be a stain.  I am not talking about physical strength here.  I’m talking about energy.  I’m talking about using common sense to help others and yourself.  We deal with what we view as negative stuff every day.  Whether it’s from our family members being grumpy, drivers that shouldn’t have a license to begin with, demanding bosses, etc, etc.  Now of course we have the issue of perspective changing, but that is a whole other blog post.  So you deal with this negative stuff, come in contact with it, do you really think that you aren’t affected?  Classic example, you enter a room and there is a cranky person, you spend ten minutes listening to this person complain about everything, (why you are listening we’re not sure but let’s just go with it) and by the end of it you feel terrible.  Energy vamp?  Maybe. But with protection in place there is a strong probability that the cranky person would not have affected you nearly so deeply, if at all.  Protection is not something to shut you down or shut other people out, protection is to protect you from the negative juices.  It’s made to be a shield between you and the goo. 

            My suggestion, an energy condom. Thin, light, easy to carry, yet it feels like the real thing when you have it on.  Okay, so maybe not a condom exactly, I just liked the title.  Protection can be as simple as asking your guides and angels to protect you.  You can have a little saying or chant that you do every morning, or you can have some elaborate ritual.  Whatever makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.  Personally, I just want to shield up and go.  I have a saying that I repeat every morning, well almost every morning.  On the days that I forget, I ask my angels for help.  No biggie, nothing to panic or freak out about.   If you don’t like trying to remember a saying every day, you can visualize as well.  I visualize a bubble of white light around me.  I like using the bubble because it’s thin, so I’m ensuring that I’m not blocking any feel good mojo out, and yet it forms a clear barrier for me.  I like to use white light because to me that is pure universal energy and white is just pretty.  There are thousands of different ways to protect yourself; these are just a couple of suggestions.  Find something that works for you. Whatever that something is just remember; protection is important kids. 

For more fun visit The Other Six Days @ www.my6days.blogspot.com

Glad We Got Over That

Tasty Tidbit #1           In Case You Forgot

YOU ARE LOVED!

Tasty Tidbit #2           Dawn

           

            I go boldly into this day

            Without hesitation

            Without fear

            I open my heart fully to the experience of the moment

            Without armor

            Without shield

            I say to the Universe

            I am Ready

            I am Ready

Tasty Tidbit #3           Just a Thought

            Time, distance, and the idea of separation are toys of the mind

            Gods of the ego.

            Love without conditions is the essence of the soul

            It is the ultimate truth of the Universe.

Glad We Got Over That

            How the hell did this turn into a spiritual blog?  In truth, I didn’t intend for it to be that way.  I just thought it would give me a chance to share my writing.  I realize now, that spirituality is my life, is my writing.  I look back into my box of tricks and see page after page of writing, all of it with some spiritual edge or note in it.  On the same token, I have an interesting sense of humor.  Some might even call it offensive at times, though I do make attempts to not take it that far.  I have always believed that laughter is great medicine, right up there next to love.  In fact they might even hold hands, on the chart of All That Is Good and Great.  What I find myself struggling with at the moment is the blending of that spirituality and humor.  I don’t see a lot of humor in spiritual practice.  Sometimes a speaker will crack a joke, but really nothing like what I can see myself potentially writing.  Oh goody, example time!

            Two Thursdays ago I wrote a blog titled, Punching Someone in the Face Can Be Spiritual.  To say that I was nervous about posting it is an understatement.  I knew I had the spiritual spin, and I knew that the post wasn’t actually about punching someone.  On the other hand I thought that a title like that could possibly turn someone off who might have benefited from what I had to say, if I had said it in a different manner.  Can you sense the shoulds lingering just under the surface of all this?  Well, last week, I decided to take a more serious approach to the blog.  While many people said that they enjoyed it, I can honestly say I did not enjoy writing it.  I started having computer issues.  I would set off on a typing frenzy and come to find out the cursor had moved and half of what I had written was somewhere else.  I was trying to write the blog in a time crunch, which also interfered with my creativity.  By the end, I was just happy to have anything to post, though I felt it was dry and didn’t reflect the information and thoughts I wanted to get across.  I have been chewing on that one all week.

            So from my munching, I just don’t think I like that word, munch, yuck!  Anyway, barracuda!  You know who that’s for, lol.  Okay so after chewing and stewing, I came to realize that once again I had slipped into ultra serious mode.  The blog had to be done a certain way.  I couldn’t talk about spiritual stuff, than talk about punching people.  (Just a side note, sometimes the word should is replaced by its counterparts: can’t or couldn’t.)  So then I asked myself a very important question:  Why the hell not?  I know I have been beating the drum of be gentle with yourself and have fun, along with follow your heart and watch out for shoulds and here I am getting caught up in them.  It happens, I know that, but it was a little annoying.  I realize that I need to find a way to blend these two parts of myself together and I think when I figure that out, and it’s not that hard I just have to allow myself to be myself, things will flow just as smoothly as they did with the face punching post. 

            So why share all this?  Well first, because I can, my blog.  Second, to share that even though we talk about this stuff, like shoulds and being yourself, we still slip up from time to time.  We still fall into that trap of what are people going to think about me if I say this?  I am a big Abraham- Esther and Jerry Hicks fan; I actually beat myself up thinking, what if they read your blog, what would they think?  Yeah I took it that far, I admit it.  I thought, they wouldn’t think that was spiritual at all, they would probably read the title and wrinkle their noses.  It makes me laugh now to see those words written out.  It really was that serious for me.  I thought no one would want to read my blog after that posting, and all of this would be a waste of time.  I guess I forgot the, if you don’t like it, it sucks to be you, part.  I forgot I was writing for fun. I might forget again, who knows.  I do know that after all the problems I had posting the last blog, the serious one, that I must, must, must, be true to myself.  If someone reads the title and doesn’t like it, so what?  I’m not out for universal popularity, I’m here to share and the way that I share is through love and yes, a sense of humor.

There is No Direct Flight

Tasty Tidbit:  Official Notice

Attention Lightworkers, we are entering the final stages of this ascension process.  The time is now.  There is no longer time for fears or doubts.  Please step into your personal power, now.  We have work to do.

Excerpt from the book We Have Work to Do

Tasty Tidbit: When Despair Turns to Joy

            Last month my husband came home for his two week R & R, from his tour in Afghanistan.  Of course him coming home also meant that he would have to leave again.  Him leaving is always hard on both of us, but this time I had a very unique experience.  Typically I don’t sleep well the night before he leaves for obvious reason; this time however I slept fine.  When I woke up I wasn’t overwhelmed by crushing emotions, like sorrow.  I felt a calmness about the whole thing.  Knowing he would be home soon helped, but there was something else that I wasn’t able to identify.  As we sat in the airport terminal waiting for his flight to be called, I took the time to observe what and who was around me.  I noticed that instead of the usually grief that I encounter when soldiers are returning to the battle field, there was a pulse of joy.  Soldiers were laughing and telling each other about their holidays.  Fathers were playing with their children.  A little eighteen month old girl with her hair done up like Pebbles, was flirting with my husband, while her brother climbed chairs and giggled.  There were no tears, no heavy feeling of “this could be the last moment I see my husband/child/wife.”  When my husband’s flight was called I did have a few tears, but they dried quickly.  At first I wondered if I was starting to become immune to these constant comings and goings, but that wasn’t it.  As I drove home I thought about all the joy and laughter we had been surrounded with in the airport.  It felt like a huge beacon of light was in the center of the terminal emitting a beam of light into each of our hearts, connecting us with love, hope, and joy.  It was as though a piece of that beam of light had been encapsulated in my heart, and as I thought about it, it felt like the light was pulsing, warm and loving.  I realized that in that airport, I had experienced a moment of love and joy so pure that any and all thoughts of despair had been obliterated.  It reminded me that in the light of joy, no darkness can be sustained.

There is No Direct Flight

           

            Like so many things in the spiritual world it seems there is some confusion on the path to spirituality.  People mistakenly think that this is an A to Z journey.  That once you get to a certain point or level in the journey that you shouldn’t, ahh there’s my favorite word, go backwards.  For example, once we reach a state of inner peace that we think will never be or should never be angry again. We have somehow surpassed those emotions.  I think not.

            As we travel along the road of our chosen spiritual path, no matter what that path might be, there will be times when you experience what appear to be setbacks.  It might look like you are going backwards, instead of forward.  Often times we hit these little snags and we become frustrated.  We throw our hands into the air and say “see this spiritual stuff is really hard,” or “how can I call myself spiritual when I just flipped that guy the bird?”  And there’s always a “helpful” friend that likes to poke and prod at you when you divert from your center, making it appear even more obvious to you that you are not that enlightened yet.  The thing to keep in mind is that we often slip back into old habits, sometimes without even noticing until they become habits again.  We encounter a situation that we thought we were over or an emotion we could swear we released.  These “setbacks” can cause a lot of frustration and self-doubt. 

            Here’s the key:  It’s okay!  There is no direct flight into spirituality.  There is no A to Z. You are going to go from A to M to E to Y.  You may get stuck in terminal Q for awhile.  You are going to have days when you are at square one, and you will have days when you stand blissfully in square ten or whatever square represents the warm fuzzy feelings of spiritual enlightenment for you.  Backwards is not always a bad thing.  Sometimes we have to go backwards to go forward.  The fun thing is when you start to catch yourself.  When you accept that you will have “off” days and you start to allow that within yourself instead of fighting against it, those days become easier to deal with, even fun.  I make it into a game.  How quickly can I turn myself around?  The game before that was, how quickly can I catch those setback thoughts?  The more you become aware, the faster you will catch the thoughts and the faster you can return to your center.  Being human, we are never going to reach a state of perfection, please let that go.  But we can reach a point where we are centered and balanced.  We will still have off days, but on those days we usually learn the most.  If you felt warm and fuzzy all the time what would be the point, or the fun for that matter, in being here on planet Earth at all? 

            So if you have an off day, acknowledge it and accept it.  Find ways to turn it around.  Listen to happy music, meditate, or do some primal scream therapy.  Tell that friend that is poking you to stop poking, or learn to not answer the phone when you are having a moment.  The most important thing is to enjoy your flight, even if you feel like at this moment you are stranded in some unnamed terminal in the middle of nowhere.  Sit back, relax, and flow.  You will not be stuck forever; you might not be stuck at all.  The universe has reasons for keeping us stationary or for moving us forward.  It’s our job to simply enjoy the ride. 

The Other Six Days

  

Yes, I know it's not Thursday.  For any of you that may be confused, have no fear, clarity is on the way!  After last Thursday’s post I drove home thinking about all the other things that I would have liked to include in the blog.  I have noticed, since I started writing the blog, that there have been times when I wanted to pop on and post something, but then think, it’s not Thursday.  So I write the ideas down in my journal.  When Thursday rolls around I usually change what I planned on writing about, or like this past Thursday make it up as I go.  A lot of my writing is still going into the drawer.  On that same drive home I was inspired to begin a second blog, which I titled The Other Six Days.  Being a Gemini, I need the structure of a goal date, like you must write a blog every Thursday.  On the other hand, I also need the freedom to write and post whenever I want.  Hence the creation of, The Other Six Days.  The posts on that blog will be random, and probably shorter, though you never know.  I will most likely not do the facebook announcements with this second blog like I do with ‘Ritas and Rants.  I might post it on there once in awhile, but nothing consistent.  The address for The Other Six Days is my6days.blogspot.com.   I hope you will join me on The Other Six Days!  See you Thursday!

Punching Someone in the Face Can be Spiritual & Other Tasty Tidbits

*Just as a side note:  Do NOT go out and punch someone in the face.  If you do, you are STUPID, and have missed the point completely.  This side note brought to you by: Please, for the love of God, use some common sense!

So I decided to do the tidbits first.  Why?  Because it’s my blog and I can.  Tidbits are just that, little bits of writing that I find interesting and want to share.  They can be bits of a story or random thoughts.  If you like them and want to read more, let me know. 

Tasty Tidbit #1

When I write, when I truly write, I am mindless.  The pen moves across the paper of its own accord, spilling the secrets stored in its blood.  The pens life force leaks onto my page without judgment, saying exactly what needs to be said, without hesitation.

Tasty Tidbit #2

Never underestimate a cookie sheet.  The noble cookie sheet can be used for any number of tasks. A cookie sheet can bring families together, injure intruders, or even be used as a snow shovel.  Next time you pull out your cookie sheet, take the time to say thank you.  You never know when you might need the help of your loyal friend, the cookie sheet.

Now onto the Punching:

            On the whole I like to think of myself as a patient person.  I can usually take a whole lot before I explode all over you.  Usually, when the explosion happens, it’s something small that triggers it.  Over the years I have worked on this volcanic issue, and while improvement abounds I still have moments when I want nothing more than to punch someone in the face.  The issue I have is this whole spiritual realm that I am supposedly working in/from.  I say that I am working on vibration and zen chi mojo and all of that good stuff, so why do I still feel the need to punch people in the face?  The answer, because I’m human, and may I add a, Duh in there.  I’m a spiritual being having a human experience.  From my particular belief system I am a piece of source.  That source is experiencing itself through me, and everyone else on the planet.  So, why wouldn’t I have moments of face punching?  Why wouldn’t I tell dirty gutter jokes even though I work in a spiritual shop?  I posted on facebook a few days ago that sometimes I think I take things far too seriously, and it’s true.  Here I am sending light and love to everyone, and the truth is, bitch took my chair…again!   I want to punch her in the face, not bless her heart!  It’s not that I don’t love that person, and yes I recognize the ego in “my chair”.  Truth be told, most of the time I am more comfortable on the floor, at least when I don’t have cold air flying up my butt crack.  So, why the pissosity about the chair?  Ego, of course.  Power struggle, more than likely.  And because I’m human, and sometimes I want my damn chair, which is for me, priceless truth.

            I think sometimes we get so caught up in the zen chi mojo spirit stuff that we actually work backwards on ourselves.  It’s like denying makeup, because all people already where masks.  Yeah, I did that one myself.  Or not buying a coach purse because you think that society is already materialistic and you are better than that.  Done that one too, but now I have the purseJ  We are attempting to purify our lives, to live in this higher spiritual place, but we end up denying who we inherently are.  We are spiritual beings yes.  But we are also human.  Just because you wear the makeup or buy the purse does not make you any less spiritual in my humble blogging opinion.  Neither does getting angry, or having the occasional face punching thoughts.  If it's more than occasional you might want to seek professional help.  When something like that happens to me, when I have that face punching thought, I catch it.  I notice it for what it is.  I recognize that thought as my ego.  That alone empowers me to laugh it off and move on with my life, instead of sitting around stewing about it.  Translation:  You can only change yourself and how you view things, so why not laugh about it. Laughing is more fun.

            Laughter is, again in my humble opinion, one of the best tools we have.  One of the reasons I love working where I work is because of the laughter.  True, some days we don’t get much done, but damn it, we have a great time laughing about it.  Laughter can snap your mood in a moment and bring you back to your center in a heartbeat.  Even a giggle does wonders for the soul.  So next time someone takes your chair, or cuts you off in traffic, or jumps on your face because you mis-pronounce a word, just breath, notice it, and giggle.  When you feel yourself start to puff up, take note of it.  Notice what triggered those feels and emotions.  Then laugh it off.  Get your giggle on.  Whatever you do, remember to be gentle with yourself.  We are all learning here.